Are you haunted by nightmares you can’t explain to others due to risk of sectioning? You want to be sectioned but can’t get anyone to take you seriously? Feeling lethargic and uninspired? Are your lungs full of a mysterious sugary vape liquid? Are you struggling to get an appointment for these maladies through conventional methods?

Then why not come down for a consultation with one of our team of legitimate, non-sinister doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, and clown dentists. Price per consultation starts as low as £5!!

Our host team will help you feel settled after you check in, will ease and not exacerbate your health-related fears, and offer unsolicited advice on your condition or overall appearance.

Our host team includes:
Dr Charles the Princess
BLXNDiE
Celestria
Felony Fox
Morgan Failure
Sofia Hole
Venus

Need to be seen immediately, with no time to wait for a specialist? Co Kendrah and Andrea will be offering free body modifications* on the night for anyone willing to undertake this at their own risk.

*Due to the lack of any official training whatsoever, we cannot legally refer to this as surgery.

And our talented DJ team will be keeping you sane while you’re inevitably left in the waiting room all night trying to get an appointment.

DJs:
Kirby
Pretty Patel
Psyclops
strumpet

Low income tickets available. Message us @thefaggatoir.

Entry requirements: 18+ — Read more — Read less